unemployment

the cold air clings comfortably
and i dive deeper into blankets,
currently content with
the lulling hums of
my towels on spin cycle
and dishes rinsing rhythmically
in my very own kitchen.
five minutes pass quickly
watching the icy rain
slide silently down my
big picture window
before the guilt hits hard,
a stormy wave of anxiety
attacks my nerves
and i jump up,
remembering the hundreds of things
i should be doing
like reorganizing the closets
or resweeping the floors
or deciding on tommorrows's dinner,
but the new me takes over
and my breathing slows
and i curl back into the couch,
because 'life should be enjoyable,'
i hastily tell myself.
and there are scrubs reruns
left to be seen.